marinebaeology:

• Heathers: “Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because it sounds like he sucks and I will totally kill that guy for you.”
• Next to Normal: “I was like, ‘Well here goes nothing. YOU EVER SEEN A GHOST?’ And my mom said, ‘Yes.’ Which is the best answer.”
• Fun Home: “I have a girlfriend now myself, which is weird because I’m probably gay based on the way I act and behave and have walked and talked for 28 years.”
• Dear Evan Hansen: “And then I said, ‘No.’ Y’know, like a liar.”
• The Producers: “I would assume that’s someone dressed as Hitler. I’m not gonna kill that guy. I’m not gonna kill an actor and ruin Indiana Jones 5 just ‘cause I don’t understand costumes.”
• Be More Chill: “I don’t like robots… thinkin’ of things.”
• High School Musical: “Every new song is about how tonight is the night, and how we only have tonight. That is such 19-year-old horseshit.”
• Mean Girls: “What’s a clique?” “It’s when a group of people hang out together.” “Oh, you mean like having friends?” “No, because these people make fun of other people.” “Oh, you mean like having friends?”
• Hamilton: “I learned to play his campaign song on the piano. It was ‘Don’t Stop’ by Fleetwood Mac… from Rumours, an album written by and for people cheating on each other. He let us know who he was right away.”
• RENT: “I am homeless, I am gay, I have AIDS, I’m new in town.”
• Avenue Q: “Yes, you heard me. An English major.”
• Starship: “You spend most of your day telling a robot that you’re not a robot. Think about that for two minutes and tell me you don’t wanna walk into the ocean.”
• 1776: “I was in Connecticut recently, doing white people stuff.” Alt: “I don’t remember that in Hamilton…”

tododekunn:

Person: Do you have any motivational quotes

Me: No

Me, inside: It’s your power isn’t it?

craftingmagick:

alongfalltothetop:

Oh I’m an asshole.

So today pulling into Stop and Shop, this lady cut me off and nearly drove into me, and then, when I tried to pass her, she swung to the right and nearly hit me again, and then flipped me off.

So somebody is having a bad day and taking it out on me. That’s fine. It’s harmless, and I don’t know what’s going on in this woman’s life. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt she’s not just a piece of shit and is just having a bad day.

But then I park and she follows me, and gets out of the car and starts swearing at me and getting in my face.

Now I go from “indifferent” to “I’m gonna fuck with this woman’s head.” Now I would say I’m a gentleman of size, and in all black and bemohawked I probably look spookier than I actually am, so props to this lady for getting in my face. Now of course I’m not going to hit her, or even threaten violence. That’s shitty. Nobody should get threatened with violence.

Instead, I take a step back, narrowing my eyes like I’m studying her face really closely, and then I touch one of the several piece of “occulty” jewelry I’m wearing (none of which, by the way, are magicked in any way at all). Then I mumble some nonsense under my breath, and then make the fig gesture and the horns at her.

She stops, wide-eyed.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO ME?”

I chuckled, and shake my head. “Nothing at all.” I say in a not-terrible convincing voice. “But every time something bad happens to you today, you’re gonna be thinking of me.”

Then I winked at her, and walked away.