Santa is on strike due to global warming. All presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas Tiger. Milk and cookies may not be sufficient.
So I’m on a trip with my robotics team and there’s only two “girls” (me, an enby, and a cis girl), so we get our own beds in our own room, but the guys are rooming four to a room, but there’s only two beds in each room. Which means that two guys are sleeping on the floor every night.
I’m not joking. They were literally arguing over who’s sleeping on the floor tonight (apparently they plan on rotating).
And I asked them “why don’t you just share a bed?” And they all gave me the same answer:
“No, that’s weird! That’d be gay!”
And I just looked at them and I decided to break the bad news to them
“If lying next to another guy makes you wanna suck dick, you already wanted to suck dick.”
I’ve never seen so many Straight Guys™️ enraged by a single sentence before
look at the two of them. dressed to the nines. silks from france and cotton from egypt. chanel on them both. they’re at a party neither of them was invited to, but so damn good looking that no one in their right mind would turn them away at the door. the woman – titties free under that dress, scoping out women in salacious flapper dresses in gloves created from 100,000 insects’ life work. the man – smoking a cigarette he took out from the mouth of one of the millionaires at the party, saying nothing but giving him a slow smile and a wink. the flower in his lapel is fake. dying plants in your clothing is such a hideous fashion. the both of them haven’t spoken to anyone there, though everyone has tried. they stand on the stairs staring at the heterosexual proles gathered below them together, and the two of them wonder if those fools realize that they’re outclassed, that in every way, they’ve been outdone. they leave early with a bottle of champagne in each fist, and no one stops them.
This is the most extra analysis I have ever seen of anything ever and I agree with all of it
amusedAnarchist 